5 days later...

it has been a while since i posted last. lets see....not much is going on. i did come to realization though..i need to loose weight. we got invited to go swim over at the taylor's on memorial day. i put my swim trunks on and they felt a little tight but i hadn't worn them for a while so i thought they were ok. i put my shorts on over them and we left for the pool. once we got out to swimming the mesh liner ( this is probably more info than you want to know ) was all bunched up and the shorts were a little to short. so without going into to much detail on how they were to small, i am going to buy some longer, baggier, cooler shorts. i think i might try to find a blue pair ( like anybody cares what color i get ).

tv at 5:30am

ok...so this morning when i got up to feed luke i decided to watch some tv. there was nothing but news ( not local ) and informercials. except one channel. there was one channel that held the kind of quality tv i was looking for...channel 9 ( fox ) had jerry springer. JERRY FREAKING SPRINGER MAN! needless to say i decided to kill a few brain cells and watch. the topic was "bizare fetishes" ( lucky me ). i only caught the last half where there was a guy in women's panties and gold tassels on his nipples ( he as not a small man either ). he was getting whipped by some dominatrex. the next one was the huge lady ( at least 350+lbs ) and the first thing she said was, " Jerry, I am a stripper, I am pregnant, and i am pissed." i laughed out loud right then ( i startled luke too ). good times

freaky

last night i had some weird dreams. they started out with me up in louisville at my mom's house. i was in her bedroom with someone else when i saw someone carrying in my lil bro alex. they laid him on the bed and told me that they had to kill him and bring back a few times so that he could live. his skin was gray and pale. he looked at me and then closed his eyes. i don't remember what happend next but what i do remember is that there were two of alex. one was his normal self and the other was a empty, souless monster. i shouted at the real alex to run home and that i would take care of the beast. my friend derrick walked up a little later and joined the souless monster in chasing me. i ran and tried to hide on a ladder but i could not climb high enough. i then ran behind a dumpster. i looked around and realized there were around 20-30 dumpsters around. i hid behind them and stayed hidden until derrick and the beast were gone. i quickly rushed back home so that i could make sure alex was ok. alex had gone over to my grandmas so i went there too. i saw him outside doing something that he normally wouldn't do. he looked up, saw me, and give a wicked grin. this freaked me out so i went into the house next door. i quickly realized that the alex i thought was real was actually the fake one. i looked for something to use against him. after a few minutes of searching i found an axe ( the same axe i keep behind my bed ). after i was armed, i went back over to my grandparents house. i walked in ready to fight but he was nowhere to be found. i finally decided to call derrick's parents to see if they had seen him. they hadn't and i hadn't seen the real alex in a long time. a few days passed and i realized that they were never coming back, lost to me forever. on the fourth day a mighty storm was raging all around. the tornado sirens started blaring. i rushed to get my grandma and grandpa downstairs but they wouldn't go. they talked about being old and it didn't matter if they died or not. after a few minutes of begging and pleading they decided to go downstairs. that is when i awoke to thunder and lightning.

anger management 101

Band: Blue October
Song: Hate Me

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. will you never call again?
And will you never say you that love me just to put in my face?
And will you never try to reach me? it is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes bright and I held your face in my hand
And then fell down yelling “make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like is used to be
And then she whispered “how can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

last night jac, luke and i went to a dance recital. it was a lot of fun. i was expecting like 10 kids and piano player on the side of the stage playing rustic songs while the kids "danced" around. that was not the case at all. first off there was way more than 10...more like 60. plus there wasn't a piano. they played some pretty good songs ( some bad too ). they even played the numa numa song and some black eyed peas!

on a completly different note, i am trying to figure out a new message to put on my car. *quick background story* once upon a time there was a handsome and tone prince named Sir Bryan. Sir Bryan loved to go and stand in line for very nerdy movies ( like lord of the rings, star wars, matrix...you get the idea ) and hangout with his friends. Well one day he drove his trusty steed Issac P. Crock to the royal Cheri movie theater to stand in line and hangout with his friends. Once he got there he opened the magical trunk of holding ( it could hold anything in the world ), reached in, and pulled out a backpack filled with treasure. Inside he found gummi bears, a nintendo ds, and various other items. once he was satisfied with his finding he decided to shut the portal to the magical trunk. he reached up and pulled down but was met with a THUD instead of the usual click. Sir Bryan was perplexed by this occurance. this had never happed to him before. He tried and tried and tried to shut the portal but it was no use...it wouldn't shut. frustrated with this, he sat down and tried to think about the problem. after only a few seconds he decided to try and bend the latch so where it would shut. after many hours he decided it would not budge. so Sir Bryan was about to go sit down and think some more but then he got a brillant idea...TAPE IT SHUT WITH DUCT TAPE! he reached back into the portal and pulled out a huge roll of duct tape. he quickly got to work placing this magical silver tape around the edges of the portal so rain would not get in. this worked and he was able to enjoy the movie. the next day he decided to write a message on the steed with duct tape. after thinking about what would look cool and fit he decided to put the word "PIMP'D" on the back. everyone loved this and he lived happily ever after.
sooo....what should i write on the back now? i was thinking about putting red flames ( all duct tap of course ) down the side but i dont' want to look cool or someone might try to steal my car. any suggestions?

???

umm...i was going to say something but i forgot what it was. maybe i will remember later

something new

i have been learning how to make a webpage this week. we finished the page but the guy that wanted it decided he wanted some changes done so...back to the drawing board. i was also told that i might be making a webpage for our guild on world of warcraft ( i don't think we need it but it might be cool to have ). i will post links of stuff when i am done. i am always open to ideas. who knows..this might turn into something i can do on the side for extra money.

i did not know that

i had been noticing that my shower mesh sponge thingy was falling apart. so i finished my shower and i wanted to see if i could just pull out the part that was falling off. i started pulling and before i knew it i had unraveled the entire thing. IT WAS ONE PIECE OF MATERIAL. how cool is that?!? the string was actually tied around one of ends and just slid off. now you know.

september is so far away

what a weekend. jac and i went up to louisville to see the family, kent and jenny ( i can't remember how to spell her name ), and adam and jamie. the only problem with trips up to louisville is that i don't have enough time to see everyone i want to see. i need to go see my friend kevin but i never get around to it. anyways...so the trip was good. my lil bro was acting a little weird sunday though. i think he is lonely. he doesn't have any friends in the neighborhood and doesn't hangout with anybody from school. my mom says that all he does is wake up, play on the computer, go to school, and come home to play on the computer till it is bedtime. at least he is playing a game where he interacts with other people. he is a great kid and i hate that he doesn't have anybody around to play with. while i was up there i talked to my mom and hopefully he can come down to murray for a week. soo...back to the weekend. we watched survivor with kristin and greg suday night. hanging out with them is always fun. i still think i could win survivor. monday i took the day off work because i was getting this sharp stabbing pains in my stomach ( not fun ). i had them all night and part of the next day. i have no idea what was wrong.
now i come to last night. last night was the final episode of grey's. that show is amazing. that was 2 hours of intense tv. once again george was amazing. i read somewhere that said george started the season nervous and confused but now he is one of the best. he isn't the best surgeon but he makes people better. i think what it comes down to is love. he loves people. they all love people in their own way, even alex. the show made me realize that we really don't get to pick who we love. nobody knows how love works but everyone knows it does. izzy loves denny. she has never seen him outside the hospital. denny needs a new heart or else he will die. denny is a patient. yet through all of this izzy still loves denny ( i will try not to give anything away incase someone hasn't seen it yet ). if she could have picked then should would not have picked him. so back to reality. i am really glad that we don't get to pick who we love and who we don't. if i did then i wouldn't be where i am today. i would not have the wonderful wife and amazing son i have been blessed with or the best friends i could ever hope for. sure love can hurt but i wouldn't be able to live without it.

"The heart has reasons that reason cannot know." -- Pascal

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. * Friedrich Nietzsche

There is no remedy for love but to love more. * Henry David Thoreau

i want *gulp*....

i never thought i would say this. there is a point in every man's life where he has to make a decision that will change everything. it will distort the very essence of what he is. some come to this decision quicker than others. i knew that this was coming but i didn't want it to. i have been fighting it and telling myself that it isn't true. i have spent many sleepless night trying to solve this problem. at last i knew what had to be done. i don't know why i am chosing to bear my soul to the world on here but i am....*deep breath*

does anybody have a recomendation for a good country cd? i don't want something to sappy or redneck, just some good country.

very cool

here are some links to cool/stupid videos

this link is of the john buttler trio. actually it is just one guy doing an amazing solo. i have one of their cds and it is amazing.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=17352

which is worse: i actually watched this or that he made it? i play world of warcraft but i am no where near this ( i sure hope i am not like him )
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=5026984357090776847&q=world+of+warcraft

if you haven't seen numa numa then you must watch this. it is sad to say that i almost have this memorized. i even bought the song of itunes...i am sad
http://www.jeffiscool.com/numanuma.html

if you like magic then you need to check out this magic stunt by david blaine.
http://planetvids.com/html/David-Blaine-Refills-a-Beer.html

that's all for right now. i might post some more later

i thought i said that

the other day i was talking about grey's. later we were discussing what i had said and then my wife goes, " i said that to you yesterday! ". i stood there perplexed and in disbelief. did she really say that? did i steal her thoughts? the more i thought about it, the more it became true. now if i would have even thought that she said that i would have given her all the credit. but i didn't. i thought i had thought it up myself. i wonder how much of my life i borrow from other people and not realize it. i thought i was going somewhere with this thought but.....i thought wrong. maybe i will finish it later.

on a completly different topic...air freshner. i hate when people spray this in the bathroom to "cover" up the horid stench they created. at work we had this wild flower spray that didn't smell good by itself. people would never spray enough. you would be waiting for the person to finish when all of a sudden you hear a flush and quick spray of arosol. the door opens, you avoid eye contact so you don't let them know about the spray, and you walk on in. BAM! all of a sudden it smells like somebody took a dump in a flower patch. i would rather smell the origianl funk. then you have the non cented spray. that is even worse than the flowers!

i suck at helping

do you ever feel like the more you try to help the worse stuff gets? that happens to me all the time. i try to help but i usually either get yelled at or i end up feeling about 2 inches tall because i screwed up.

david freaking blaine

last night david blaine held his breath for just over 7 minutes. that is amazing! i doubt i can hold my breath longer than a minute. if you have never seen him do his stunts or street magic then you need to right now. last night in one of his "card" tricks he pulled the teeth out of a woman's mouth! how do you fake that???? the woman even ran her tongue into the gap where her tooth had been. then blaine blew on her face and her teeth were back in her mouth. needless to say the girl was freaking out. another trick he did was he tied his shoe without touching the laces. he just wiggled his foot around and BAM...it was tied. the guy is amazing. i wonder who would win in a fight...brad pitt or david blaine?

BURN!

just a simple post

ice cream rocks! what are your favorite flavors?

1) cookies n cream - this is probably my all time favorite flavor
2) vanilla w/ toppings - add a few gummi bears and chocolate...match made in heaven
3) bunny/moose tracks - just biting into those little pieces of goodness, yum.

vent

work sucks! i still haven't received my paycheck from last week ( long story, ask and i will tell ), our sells reps don't turn their equipment in so i run out of stuff and look bad, i have to deal with a lady that is about as sharp as a circle ( and she likes to try and whistle on the phone ), i am hourly and i still had to help a guy out at 8pm ( i work 7am-3:30pm ), i can't go salary because my title doesn't qualify ( big load of BS ), and i am tired.

on a completly different note...last night was pretty good. i tried kristin's vegetable pizza. i have to admit that i didn't think i would like it but i wanted to try it out of respect ( she worked hard on making it ). i was plesently suprised to find that it was really good. despite me screwing up earlier ( forgot to call caleb ) it was a lot of fun. i needed that too

inspired by kristin

saw her post and thought...hmm...what happened on my birthday ( april 16th 1980)? here are some cool ones:

1178 BC - A solar eclipse may have marked the return of Odysseus, legendary King of Ithaca, to his kingdom after the Trojan War

1881 - In Dodge City, Kansas, Bat Masterson fights his last gun battle.

1912 - Harriet Quimby becomes the first woman to fly an airplane across the English Channel.

1919 - Mohandas Gandhi organizes a day of "prayer and fasting" in response to the British slaughter of Indian protestors in the Amritsar Massacre

1943 - Dr. Albert Hofmann discovers the psychedelic effects of LSD

1964 - Sentences totalling 307 years were passed on 12 men who stole £2.6m in used bank notes after holding up the night mail train travelling from Glasgow to London in August of 1963 - a heist that became known as the Great Train Robbery.

births
1947 - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, American basketball player
1952 - Bill Belichick, American football coach
1963 - Jimmy Osmond, American pop singer (The Osmonds)

cooking = fun

recently i have found something i love to do...cook. i am still a novice but hopefully over the years i will get better and better. when i was younger, my dad would always make me fluffy tapioca pudding. it is kind of tricky to make so i never made it myself. so when my dad came down to see luke i asked if he would make it for me. while he was making it he said that he was going to make the first batch and then i would make another one by myself. i actually seperated the egg whites and the yolk myself! it didn't turn out as good as my dads but close. then last night i made my very first round double layer cake. i even used toothpicks like my grandma would ( she always said that if you get a toothpick you got a hug and kiss ). when i left for work it was still standing. now i just hope it tastes good. soo...i am looking for some recipes i can cook. any ideas?

more song lyrics

do you ever feel like this? i know i do

Nickel Creek
"Doubting Thomas"

What will be left when
I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me

I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith

Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power

I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith

Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die
Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted

I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothin's safe
Oh me of little faith

refreshing

what a good weekend. despite my dad and stepmom ( her fault ) standing us up again, this weekend was pretty good. friday night jac, kristin, katie and i ( i think that is spelled right ) went to the park to see greg's team play. that was a lot of fun. we also came to the conclusion that they need to slide a lot more. saturday kristin hosted a baby shower for luke. from what i hear it was fun. i went over to arron's place to watch some of the card's game and play some football. izzy almost blew that game. after that, the girls went up to paducha. i really wanted to go but i felt that i should stay home and hangout with greg once he got done with his game. so greg and i went to see the movie benchwarmers. it was a funny movie and i am glad we went. before that greg beat me in baseball ( i will get my rematch ). then sunday we went to church, went home and that is about it. then the night was finished with grey's...what a great show. you know you are hooked when the episode ends and you think " i wish it was already sunday again ". today i lost in scrabble again. one of these days i might win...one of these days. at least it is fun.