what was i thinking?

failure is better than never trying

Name:
Location: murray, Kentucky, United States

if you want to know more about me just ask. don't worry, i won't bite

Friday, March 31, 2006

*deep breath* take 2

dang. i had a post all writen out and it just got deleted. maybe that was a sign that i shouldn't post. i know at least one person looks at this blog every now and then ( you rock kristin ). does anybody else? just wondering.

will tomorrow ever become today?
it just seems so far away.
i fell like i am standing still
yet all the images are a blur

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

what a wild man

i have recently ( past 2 years ) become a baseball fan. because of kristin and greg i know try to follow the happenings of the St. Louis Cards. here is an article about a pitcher we had last year. i really like him because he is so unpredictable.

Boston's Tavarez Punches D-Rays' Gathright
By HOWARD ULMAN, AP Sports WriterTue Mar 28, 1:14 AM ET
The Red Sox are ready for the opening bell. One week before their first regular-season game, excitable reliever Julian Tavarez punched Tampa Bay outfielder Joey Gathright lightly in the jaw Monday during a play at home plate Monday, the latest flareup between the teams.
Players ran from benches and bullpens but no injuries were reported as they clutched opponents and tried to keep their teammates from going after the other side.
The action came one day after Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett yelled at Philadelphia's Ryan Howard when the right-hander thought the first baseman took too long to watch what he may have thought was a homer but ended up being a long fly out.
Players ran on the field then, too, after Howard went to his spot at first base for the top of the seventh, threw his glove down, looked into Boston's dugout, talked back to Beckett and walked toward him. Beckett was restrained before he stepped back onto the field and no one threw any punches or shoves.
In Boston's 12-11 win, which ended when Hee-Seop Choi walked with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, Gathright raced home while Julio Lugo was caught in a rundown between first and second in the eighth. Second baseman Zach Borowiak threw to Tavarez, who tagged Gathright out as the outfielder slid.
Gathright said Tavarez stood on his right forearm after the tag. Tavarez agreed but said he wanted to beat Gathright to the punch.
"I saw him try to get up and I wasn't going to let him throw a punch at me right away," said Tavarez, who threw a second punch on the top of Gathright's head. "You hear about whoever throws the first punch gets the win. That's what happened."
In the Devil Rays clubhouse, Gathright rolled up his right sleeve to show a small scratch on his right forearm. He said he had pushed Tavarez's left knee to try to free his arm. But Tavarez drew his fist back with Gathright's right knee and hand still on the ground.
"It just kind of grazed the jaw," Gathright said.
Both players were calm after the game.
Gathright said "we'll forget about it tomorrow." Tavarez said, "I don't know if I hit him good or not. I just wish that would've never happened."
Tampa Bay designated hitter Jonny Gomes said he hopes no bad blood remains between the teams when they play April 18 in Boston.
"I hope not," he said. "but we're grown men out here and you never know who's holding a grudge."
In the bottom of the eighth, Choi was hit by a pitch by Wayne Franklin, but Red Sox manager Terry Francona said it didn't appear to be intentional. Still, both benches were warned.
The Red Sox and Devil Rays have been involved in several brawls. Tavarez is in his first season with Boston.
Four players and both managers were suspended for their role in a game last April 24 in which pitchers from both teams intentionally hit batters, sparking a fight.
On Sept. 27, 2004, two players from each team were hit by pitches and players ran onto the field.
In August 2000, eight Devil Rays and no Red Sox were ejected when Tampa Bay's Gerald Williams charged Boston pitcher Pedro Martinez, who had hit him with a pitch.
Monday's brawl "had nothing to do with history," Tampa Bay manager Joe Maddon said. "That may require suspension, absolutely. That kind of action cannot be tolerated."
Tavarez, who played for St. Louis the past two seasons, broke the fourth finger and bones in his left hand when he tried to trash the bench after allowing a tiebreaking homer in Houston's victory in the fourth game of the 2004 ALCS.
"He punched the phone," Cardinals manager Tony La Russa said.
On Monday he punched Gathright, a move he said he regretted.
"I'm not a fighting guy," Tavarez said, "I get along with my teammates and everybody, but when you're on the field, you know, things happen."
Gathright said he couldn't do much with Tavarez standing on his arm.
"I was like, `Get off my arm,' and he wouldn't move," Gathright said. "It's spring training and he's known for something, so nobody really cares. I could care less. I'll get over this. Hopefully, everybody else does."
Both starting pitchers struggled, with Boston's David Wells allowing six runs in four innings and Tampa Bay's Casey Fossum giving up 10 runs in 4 1-3 innings. Boston led 7-0 after two innings, 7-6 after three and 10-6 after five. Tampa Bay tied it with four runs in the eighth — Ty Winnington's RBI single making it 10-10.
Tim Corcoran walked the last two batters in the ninth, giving Boston the win.
Gomes and Boston's Mark Loretta had three hits each. Gomes hit his third exhibition homer and Toby Hall hit his second, both in the third against Wells.

Monday, March 27, 2006

i feel like crap.

Friday, March 24, 2006

did i do that?

you know whats scary? working on a computer that controls the livelyhood of your company. if that computer breaks, the company goes out of buisness.

NOTE TO SELF: make sure the power is all the way off before touching the motherboard.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

happy day

today is a good day. i have been trying to order a laptop/notebook for a while now. i really wanted an alienware but i knew they were to much. i found one on ebay for cheap. luckily i figured out it was a scam. next i found one on yahoo! auctions. that was a scam too. finally i bit the bullet and started looking on places like tigerdirect, abs, dell and ect. i had two main requirements: 1) around $1,000 or less and 2) i really wanted an AMD chip. i just think they are so much better ( and not everyone has one ). i finally decided to get a HP. and guess what? it arrived today!!!! i am soooooooooo excited. i just want to quit working for the day and go home and power it up. yeah!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

sugestions anyone?

what should i write about? it can be anything. does anyone have a question they would like to ask?

Monday, March 20, 2006

why should i follow you?

why are movie stars so popular? we do we look up to them so much? is it that they are so much better than us "regular" people? do they know something we don't? i don't think so. i think it is all about confidence. they are so confident in themselves that it makes others confident in them too. i mean just look at paris hilton. what in the world has she done that would deserve praise? nothing. yet girls everywhere want to be her. why? because she is confident.
so now lets go back to bible times. why did people follow jesus? was it because he was smart? i don't think so. there are plenty of smart people in this world that we don't follow. did you anybody follow the local school geek or the tech in the computer room at your work? i don't think so. did people follow him because he was good and sinnless? i don't think so either. "bad" people are way more interesting than good people. was it because he stirred up trouble and was always the underdog? maybe. people tend to root for the guy that doesn't have a chance. jsut look at the NCAA tourny. how many times have you wanted that number 10+ seed to just steamroll that top ranked seed? i think the reason people followed him because he was confident. he knew what he was talking about. he could back up his statements and reasure people that everything was going to be ok. even when he was being crusified people wanted to follow him. the criminal next to him wanted to follow him right then and there. he was confident that he was doing the right thing. but the whole time he wasn't arrogant. he never said that he was better than anyone else. he even washed the feet of his followers. he let little kids sit in his lap. he never told anyone he was better, but everyone knew that he was. i love this about him. Jesus was more of a servent than a leader yet everyone wanted him to be king.

wow...that is a bunch of rambling and bad spelling. hopefully somebody will get something out of that. any comments?

Friday, March 17, 2006

happy St. Patricks day!

i don't know why but this is one of my favorite hoildays. maybe it is the irish coming out in me. here is a little history lesson about Brian Boru ( i like to pretend that i was named after him ):

Born in 940 AD, Brian Boru was one of Ireland's greatest leaders who is credited with directing Ireland's future - for both good and bad.
Brian Boru (Brian mac Cennetig or Brian Boroimhe in Gaelic) was born in Munster, Ireland. A member of the Dal Cais (Delcassians) tribe, he was the brother of Mahon, who became King of Munster following the death of their father, Cenn-tig.
At this point in Ireland's history, Viking invaders (or Norsemen) had a stranglehold on the island, while the native Irish either sided with the Norse out of fear or belonged to small kingdoms that fought among themselves.
Mahon desired peace with the Vikings and attempted to attain it, but his younger brother Brian shared no such desire. In fact, after having witnessed the death of his mother and much of the Dal Cais tribe in a Norse raid while he was a child, Brian was a proponent of warfare with Vikings.
When he was old enough, Boru broke away from his brother to wage guerrilla warfare on the Norse. A skilled tactician, he won many decisive victories that instilled fear in the enemy as well as their Irish allies.
His attacks also helped to fuel rumours that there was a large, secret Dalcassian army. Boru's campaign gained much popular support and many Irishmen joined his cause, including his Brother Mahon, who renounced his truce with the Vikings. The combined forces were able to drive most of the Norse from Southern Ireland, including their leader Ivar (also known as Imar).
Eager for revenge, Ivar returned ten years later, capturing and killing Mahon. Brian succeeded his brother to the throne of Munster, bringing with him a re-fueled hatred of the enemy Norsemen. Soon after, his forces met with those of Ivar and Brian challenged him to personal combat. Ivar was killed and the Viking influence in Southern Ireland was struck another blow.
Boru's influence continued to grow throughout Southern Ireland and he became known for rebuilding many of the churches and other monuments that had been destroyed by the Norse.
In North Ireland, Malachy the Second followed Boru's lead when his forces defeated a Norse army to take Dublin in 980 and Malachy became King of Meath. The two kings met in 998 and agreed to divide Ireland between them, with Boru recieving the South and Malachy the North. Boru, however, had too much support - even in Northern Ireland - and Malachy eventually ended up allowing Boru to peacefully take over his lands.
Boru was granted the title "Ard Ri", meaning "High King". This made him one of the first - and last - kings to effectively unite Ireland under one monarch.
The rivals to Brian Boru's rule were numerous, however, both among the native Irish and the remaining Norse. In 1013, Maelmordha, King of Leinster, revolted and allied with the Vikings. They summoned reinforcements from Boru's other Irish rivals and the Viking nations, as far away as Normandy and Iceland.
The two forces met on Good Friday, 1014 at Clontarf. Nearly 4,000 Irishmen were killed at the Battle of Clontarf, including Brian's son Murrough, but the Viking/Leinster forces suffered even heavier losses.
At the end of the battle, what little remained of the Norse forces retreated to their ships. But before all the invaders fled, a small group of Norse troops came upon Brian's tent and decided that if they couldn't have Ireland, they would at least kill its King. Then in late seventies or early eighties, Brian was able to kill several men but King Brodar of Man struck Boru the mortal wound. Before he died, Brian was able to avenge himself by beheading Brodar.
Unfortunately, with Boru gone and his strong influence absent, Ireland soon fell into chaos and anarchy. There would never be another king powerful enough to rule all of Ireland.
Today, Boru is also known as the progenitor of the Clan O'Brien, through his four wives and thirty reputed concubines. Additionally, one of the symbols most commonly associated with Ireland - and the symbol used as Guinness's logo - is called the "Brian Boru Harp".
Stephen Butters, August 2000

Thursday, March 16, 2006

let the randomness continue

here are a bunch of random thoughts i have been having:

- yesterday i was told that customizing electronics is kind of like scrapbooking....totally have to agree. in both areas you start with a basic area and then you make it your own. very cool idea ( maybe thats why i don't mind looking around...umm...nevermind. )

- i recieved this $400 voucher in the mail that is good toward a computer. at first i thought it was a scam...boy was i right. first off the computer lists for $699.95, so you would still have to pay about $3oo. part of the discription says and i quote, "... Pentium Processor that's fast enough for virtually all of today's most exciting and popular computer games and is remanufactured with.... You get a high-speed hard drive that's big enough to accommodate all your needs now, and into the future." first off the computer is running windows 95! that is bad. next the computer only has a phone line, no cable modem for you. you also get a whole 3.2GB of storage, iPods have more than that. what a rip off. i think i am going to call today and see what line of crap they try to tell me.

- umm...wow...that took about a lot more brain room than i thought. i now leave you with some words from a song called Valiant by Spill Canvas:

The blood collects, and flushes out your cheekbones
I've got this secret garden and you are the only one that knows.
I'm stuttering and drooling,
my shreaded throat will try to sing for you....

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

mister sandman...GO AWAY!

i have been having the weirdest dreams lately. last night i dreamed that my wife ( jac ) had the baby and it was luke. i had another dream that was really weird and i don't know where it came from. that dream is not apporpriate for this blog. crazy.

Monday, March 13, 2006

i miss you!!!!

this weekend was soo busy and good. my in-laws came down this weekend. they helped us work on the baby room so that was good. the last time they all ( her parents and sister ) came down they fought almost all weekend. i vowed that they will never all visit at the same time. well of course i got over powered and they all came. you can just feel the tension in the air. her mom even said this time was the last. yeah right. but the weekend was ended on a great note because i got to see short, jeff and the baby. she is sooo cute.

oh and on a really sad note...i had to take my computer down. if i had somewhere else to put it this wouldn't be a problem but right now it is just sitting there, doing nothing. i am going to best buy today and hopfully i will find a laptop that will fill this aching in my heart

Friday, March 10, 2006

what day is it?

this week has flown by. i don't even remember it being tuesday. i was just thinking how fast this year is going yet it seems like it has been ages since i have felt the spring breeze or the summer heat. i thought i was going somewhere with this ( this week has been super busy ) but i guess i am not. here are some words i was thinking of on my way to work this morning:

i want to lift my hands into the sky
and shout to all that want to listen
instead i hang my head in fear
holding onto the bar so i don't fall

Thursday, March 09, 2006

lesson #1 for the day

Don't step on a tube of glittery gel hard. i just did and now i have green glitter all over the left leg of my jeans. from my shoe to my butt...glitter

real quick

man...i don't even have time to make a real post. ok...what should i write about? anything at all.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

news of the weird

here are some of my favorite stories from the New of the Weird this week

Jacqueline Dotson was seriously injured in an accident near Winchester, Ky., in February that police say happened when she lost control of her SUV and ran several other cars off the road before overcorrecting, which caused the SUV to roll over a guardrail and land upside down. A rescue crew labored an hour and a half with the "jaws of life" to extricate her from the vehicle, but one of her arms was already free, severed in the accident and lying on the road, still grasping a cell phone. [WLEX-TV (Lexington), 2-3-06]

(1) In Japan's Wakayama prefecture in December, Miichiro Yamashita, 70, received a suspended sentence for bringing 25 sticks of dynamite to a hospital and threatening to blow the place up unless his doctor changed his mind and gave him the treatment he wanted for his stomachache. (2) Two women are at large in the Kenner, La., area after one slashed a Rally's restaurant manager in February with a razor blade because her requested substitution (mayonnaise for tartar sauce on her fish sandwich) was not honored. (3) In February, Kimberly Dasilva, 40, was charged in Boston with putting explosives into condoms and mailing them to people she believes are associated with her longstanding mistreatment by men, including two strip clubs where she used to work. [Agence France-Presse, 12-27-05] [Times-Picayune (New Orleans), 2-10-06] [Boston Globe, 2-8-06]

Not Cut Out for a Life of Crime: (1) University of Colorado freshman Jonathan Baldino, caught by security personnel in November after he printed out a fake bar code, stuck it on a $149.99 iPod, and bought it for $4.99 at a Target store, immediately wrote a frenzied confession: "I will NEVER EVER DO THIS EVER AGAIN, and I am once more terribly sorry. I'm only a kid! Help me out! ... Please! Please! Please!" (It didn't help.) (2) After Seattle police chased a carjacking suspect into a tree in February, bystanders gathered around and laughed, but the suspect, still defiant, yelled at them, "It's not funny!" (However, according to a KIRO-TV reporter, some in the crowd yelled back, "Yes it is!") [Denver Post, 12-2-05] [KIRO-TV (Seattle), 2-3-06]

A 37-year-old man escaped a fire in his home but died of smoke inhalation after he decided to go back inside to look for his cell phone to call 911 (Greenville, S.C., December). [Chicago Tribune, 11-30-05] [Foster's Daily Democrat (Dover, N.H.), 9-17-05] [Augusta Chronicle, 11-21-05]

Empire Records = one of the best movies ever

this weekend i watched empire records for the like the hundreth time. e.r. (empire records ) is one of those timeless movies. everybody can relate to somebody in that movie. if you haven't watched it yet, you should. what are your ( anybody that reads this jumbling of words ) favorite movies?

Monday, March 06, 2006

is it over yet?

last night i had one of those dreams that feels real. so real in fact that when i woke up it felt like i had gotten zero sleep. in my dream i was playing some kind of laser tagish game. i saw this guy in the corner so i started shoothing him. he didn't move. so i got closer and closer. i finally got right up to him and punched him in the face. all of a sudden he bursted into motion. he screamed at the top of his lungs and blood went everwhere. this freaked me out so i ran. next thing i knew i was running in a church that my mom and grandparents go to ( i have had many dreams about this church ). so like any freaked out person would do i ran and hid under a desk. i didn't close any doors or do anything that would suggest that i was in there. wouldn't you know... somebody found me. i asked them not to say anything but they did anyways. so i locked the door to the room and tried to figure out if i could jump out the window and live. while contemplating gravity and my body, the door opened and in walked the guy. the last thing i remember is that i was trying to reason with him and i said i was really sorry. then i woke up and had to go to work. tell me your dreams! i want to hear your crazy tells in slumber land. anybody?

Friday, March 03, 2006

diary of a crazy man

Day 3: we are still working on the system conversion. i don't know how much longer we can go on like this. there are only a handful of us left now. we hardly sleep anymore. there are things in the dark, things that wait for us to relax, things that want to destroy. i have tried raising the moral of camp but it is of no use. i am afraid that i will soon become one of those things....what is that?.....anybody there.....no...no...not that........AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Day 5: i was attacked and dragged away by a foul beast. why it didn't devour me right then and there i don't know. it started taking me somewhere when another one started communicating with it. it looked like they were fighting. when they both looked distracted i ran. i ran as fast and as hard as my tired body would go. i made it back to camp to warn my fellow companions. we have tightened security and hopefully we will be finished with the conversion so we can get out of this damned place

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Not in the running
But this rain is nothing new to me anyway
I see my reflection
No where near who I should be
The spirit is willing but
The anchors of my flesh still hold me down
With every distraction
I lose more of who I should be

[Chorus:]
Had many times to try
Before i realized
The flaws in my desgin
May have led me to ask why
Why'd you make me so weak?
I tried but I'm incomplete
Is this all there is?
All there is to me?

How many chances
At redemption do i think i'll ever get
Keep changign my rythems for a shot at somethign more
Miracles happen
So why do I feel like I'm being left behind
It's still in my nature
To look for what I can't find

chorus x2

Is this all there is?
Is this all there is to me
I should be all better now
This is all there is to me
I can pick myself up again
Is this all there is?
I hope that one day I will make a stand
But right now
This is all there is to me
No matter how i dreamI will never be good and pray
Cuz right now this is all there is to me
Yea right now this is all there is to me

good times

first i would like to say that DAIRY QUEEN OPENS TODAY! this is always a very important time in my life. for those that don't know, i love you icecream. in the icecream world, blizzards and milkshakes are at the top of the food chain. i will be going at lunch to get an oreo blizzard.

also today we are switching our computer system ( changing the backbone of our company ). this is going to be a "fun" process. i can say goodbye to the AS400 and say hello to a windows based system. this means i am going to be working some long hours for the next few days. bring on the overtime.

also today i borrowed some cds from a friend so i could rip them onto my computer. the funny thing is that i have bought everyone of the cds at sometime in my life but i can't find them now. one of the cds was a copy of one that i had burned for her. i got coldplay, bush, live, and incubus. i was going to listen to them but i am in a mood for music with more bump. oh and if you haven't listened to The Gourds sing Gin and Juice you need to. country + rap = great