i should probably go to bed now
for some reason i am still up. i know that it isn't smart to stay up late when i have to be at work at 7am....oh well. who needs sleep anyways? a little lack of sleep never hurt anybody before.
i have always had a problem with wondering if anybody would miss me if i was gone. if i just dissapeared right now would anybody notice? i have always felt like the outsider. i am not the smartest, funniest, strongest, or anything like that. i am just average. nobody misses the average ones. people remember the worst and best, not the average. but i have been getting better about this negative self image i have. i know at work i wish people would forget about me ( i get paged at least 5-20 times a day ). but other places i realize that i am loved and wanted. just today someone told me that they were wondering about me ( it was my turn in an online game )...man that feels good to hear. it is almost like God put these people ( wife, friends, and everyone else i have contact with ) in my life on purpose, to try and teach me something. God sure does work in strange and fantastic ways.
i have always had a problem with wondering if anybody would miss me if i was gone. if i just dissapeared right now would anybody notice? i have always felt like the outsider. i am not the smartest, funniest, strongest, or anything like that. i am just average. nobody misses the average ones. people remember the worst and best, not the average. but i have been getting better about this negative self image i have. i know at work i wish people would forget about me ( i get paged at least 5-20 times a day ). but other places i realize that i am loved and wanted. just today someone told me that they were wondering about me ( it was my turn in an online game )...man that feels good to hear. it is almost like God put these people ( wife, friends, and everyone else i have contact with ) in my life on purpose, to try and teach me something. God sure does work in strange and fantastic ways.
posted by bt | 12:13 AM
4 Comments:
I think you're awesome, Pup--and not at all average! You are one of the most creative, original, and caring people I know. In short, you rock!
People are in your life for a reason. No doubt about that. Sometimes we know the reasons immediately and sometimes we don't. And sometimes there are many reasons that crop up as we live life.
And I'm glad you finally took your turn! :)
thank you seems to small for what i want to say. it doesn't do this feeling of mine justice.
i am glad i took my turn so you could beat the crap out of me :P
I know how you feel and wonder the same thing at times. The one thing I always worry about is that I would feel bad if someone had to clean my apartment - it is such a mess. But, yes, you would we missed. We all touch people in ways we sometimes never know.
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